Survivor
by ayamikeage
Summary: The male DBZ warriors take on a bet... take a job, clean the house, and make food... can they survive?


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For a few days, I didn't have the Internet, so I went mad! I decided to write this story! I hope you like it! Many disclaimers…DBZ is not mine…Gundam Wing characters are not mine… Mc Donalds is not mine… Coca Cola… is not mine… the happy meal( it doesn't belong to me either, I actually thought it did…hehehe)Well anyways… oh and please tell me if you like the Coke jingle… s_zza and I wrote it…for school … Oh and I love Vegeta and Trunks… so if you get any insult from the story…oh and, BS, a famous singer… you know who I'm talking about

For you info… in case you do not know what a speedo is…it's this very tight, shiny, ugly bathing suit.

The male warriors were all sitting down, waiting for their meals, while the women were busy cooking in the kitchen. 

"Is the food ready yet?" Goten asked for the twentieth time in two minutes. 

"No! I just told you," Bra yelled out loudly.

"You bakas are so slow! The King of Saiyans should get his food right away when he asks for it!" Vegeta yelled crossing his arms and giving that famous smirk. 

Trunks was so hungry he started visualizing the table as a giant turkey and chickens sitting all around it. "Umm… chicken," he said.

Their complaints started to grow. Piccolo was so busy meditating about food. Gohan had started to suck his thumb. Krillin was banging his head on the table. Goku had started to chew on the knives and forks. 

"Can you please hurry up," Vegeta screamed, paranoid because his hair was starting to droop at the top. "It took me so many years to grow this hair! It needs food to survive! Please don't leave me, I love you," and with that, he started kissing his hair. 

Bulma exploded and threw the hot burning frying pan towards the table, where it touched Vegeta's hair, and put it a little on fire. 

"You think it's so easy to cook, clean and work! Well I'll tell you one thing, you would never survive if you had to do those things!" Chichi screamed

In the end they made a deal, the men would have to take over their jobs such as cleaning, cooking and getting a job for one week while. The losers would have to sleep on the couch for one month, unless otherwise specified. They both agreed to the deal, the men only agreeing because they knew they would win. 

The next morning the men got up early and went straight to cooking. 

"I can't believe I, the King of Saiyans has to touch this third class machine," he said talking to the stove.

"Well we made a deal!" Goku said. They all started fidgeting with it to make pancakes. Trunks finally, using the instructions given with the machine, figured it out. They started pouring the pancake liquid into the frying pan.

"The next thing to do is find a job!" Chichi informed them. 

The women walked in laughing and handed them the classifieds from the newspapers. They sat down circling all the things they could find.

"What kind of stupid jobs are these!" Krillin yelled

" Why the hell do we have to do this!" Piccolo said calmly but disgusted. 

"Hey what's that burning smell! Hey mom you better put that stove off, the pancakes… Oh kami, the pancakes! " Goten screamed running to the stove, followed by the other men. The pancake was on fire and totally black. 

"Forget about the pancakes," Gohan said throwing everything in the garbage.

"Hey I want my food!" Videl said angrily

Not knowing what to do, they gave them toast mixed with milk to eat. 

An hour later, they each were off to job interviews! 

Gohan went to a kindergarten school nearby. 

"Hi! I'm Gohan, I would like to…" he was interrupted by the teacher, his glasses broken and crayon marks all over his shirt 

"They're mad, you have to take them," he said handing him some papers, "Mad I tell you!" he said running away.

"Gee, thanks!" he said opening the document to see what he had. He opened the cover, and in big letters, it was written: Kindergarten. 

Krillin felt like going with his intuition. When he was younger, he always wanted to be a hair dresser, all though he never really had any hair. Now that he had grown quite a lot of hair, he thought of trying it out. He went to Salon Justin Pignont and asked them if there was any place available. 

" Ben, Of course there is a place! It really doesn't matter if you have no experience. Just a clip clip here and a clip clip there, and voila, magnifico!" he said in a French accent, gesturing his hands. He handed Krillin some scissors. "You can be my partner!"

"Wow! That's great!" he said moving over to his first client. He started chopping the hair anyhow. 

Goten and Trunks didn't really have any experience in anything so, they decided to work at Mc Donalds. 

They started flipping the hamburgers, right after they got there

One kid walked up to them and asked if he could have a happy meal with two toys. By that time, they were both annoyed with turning hamburgers over so they screamed at the little kid, "No you little brat, The toys belong to us, and only us! hahahaha" they said taking the bag full off toys and hopping away to find another job. 

Goku didn't know what to do, so he joined the circus and made friends with a guy named Trowa Barton and his other friends.

Right after accidentally seeing a huge giant machine, for kami knows what(he thought it was part of the show), Heero Yuy pointed a water gun to his head saying, "Now that you know who we are, I'll have to kill you! Hahahaha." 

"Oh please don't hurt me, here take all my money," he said handing Heero his purse. "Take my cosmetics too, but please don't hurt me!"

Piccolo meanwhile, had gotten a job to teach the famous celebrities yoga. His first class was with BS (a beginner in Yoga). He was so sick of her, he sent her to the little corner in the back of the room to spend some "punishment time" and to "reflect on what she had done."

Vegeta, had finally gotten a job after many hours of frustration. He was now a lifeguard at the beach. He felt so proud of himself. He walked onto the beach with his hair flying in the wind. He had his little speedo on. 

"Oh my beautiful hair! This is a break for us in the Hollywood Industry. Wait till someone notices us! We'll be surfing the water in maybe, who knows, Baywatch in Hawaii!"

He pushed his hair back and went to his place on the beach to watch the "pathetic people." 

Meanwhile Trunks and Goten had found themselves a new job: making jingles for Coke. This is what they had so far:

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Coke Baby, Coke Baby, 

Baby I'm thirsty,

Capture my heart, you American beauty 

Thirst baby, thirst baby

You and me, baby drink 

Like nothing but partying

So lets party cause you taste so fine

Like Sugar…music… 

You are my only one!

And you got me wanting more!!!!!

Always, and always, and always coca cola

A few days had past and everyone was not quite enjoying their jobs. Finally the last day had come, and they all knew that maybe, if they survived till midnight, they wouldn't have to sleep on the couch. 

Krillin really enjoyed cutting peoples hair, but Justin, his boss, seemed to really scare him. For the past few days he would run away from him early because his boss had promised to give him a hair cut. 

"Hey boss, I'm going out to lunch!" he said quietly running off to the door. Two very tough looking men came and grabbed him by the shirt.

"Where do you think you're going Mr. Krillin," Justin Pignont asked. They threw him on a chair and hand cuffed him. 

"No!!!! Please! I have a wife and a daughter, you can't do this to me. My hair just started to grow!" Krillin yelled. 

His boss took out the most gigantic scissors and started chopping his hair off. 

"Oh oui! This hair is beautiful! It's a wild kitty! An animal kind of hair! Just beautiful!" was the last words Krillin heard before fainting. 

Piccolo was starting to detest the celebrities who came because they were so full of themselves, that sometimes he just blasted them off. He was getting fed up with all of them that he even started a protest called anti-celebrities. 

Goku, had become very scared of Heero Yuy. Duo Maxwell had saved him so many times from being shot. Sometimes he even went inside the lions cage to save himself from being killed.

Trunks and Goten were not really appreciated for their talented work, and they weren't paid enough money. Now, since they stole all the happy meal toys from Mc. Donalds, they decided to go steal all the coke, and that's exactly what they ended up doing. With all these things, they ended jumping to the beach. 

Gohan, meanwhile, was tied to the wall by his little students. They had some how found lipstick and done a whole new make over on him. They started pushing down crayons down his throat. He ended up being saved by the bell. He decided to go relax down by the beach.

Everyone seemed to have gone to the beach. Krillin, for some odd reason, now had his hair turned half green and half purple. It was sort of shaved off, some places having long strands of hair. It was also written, "I work for Justin Pignont, and the address of the place". Gohan had lipstick all over his face and mascara on his eyes and hair. The women were trying to get a tan. Trunks and Goten passed around the bottles of Coke and started to drink. They took so much advantage of the caffeine they had, that soon after they were playing with the happy meal toys. 

"Vrooom, vroom, Nananana po po my car is faster then yours," Goten said, moving his car in the sand. 

Everyone was surprised to see that Vegeta was a lifeguard at their section of the beach. Suddenly a man started screaming from quite a distance in the water. Vegeta's boss screamed for him to go and save the man whom appeared to be Master Roshi.

"Are you crazy! I'll ruin my perfect hair if I go inside there!" he said, but after a little while, to win the bet, he ran on the sand and threw himself inside the water. 

He stopped half way, "Ahhhh I can feel the salt water soaking into my head. It's destroying the internal tissues of my hair!" He kept on swimming until he reached Master Roshi. After a little while they were back on land. 

"Wow! He's so hot! Oh would you save me if I were drowning," were the kind compliments Vegeta received from the girls.

"Ahhh," Master Roshi said without any of his teeth, "My dentures! My dentures! Please someone save my dentures!"

Vegeta angrily went back into the water looking for Master Roshi's dentures, which were being attacked by a shark. Vegeta kicked the hell out of the shark before returning with the dentures. 

Master Roshi took one look at them, "You little loser, do you see this scratch," he said pointing to one of the teeth. I tell you, you'll have to pay for the personal damage I've gone through!"

"Personal damage! Well look at my hair! It's been in contact with salt water, sand, and sea parasites. You know what that does to people's hair!" He covered his face, "I'm damaged for life!"

An hour after they were back home, cleaning the house. The women gave them several pails and brooms and toothbrushes. They told them what to do and set them to work. Goten and Trunks, though, were busy making peanut butter and apple jelly sandwiches (what they had been eating the whole week.) All of them had already called up their bosses telling them they were quitting. 

"Do I really have to clean the toilet bowl?" Piccolo looking at the toothbrush and than the toilet.

"Yes, and Vegeta can help you!" Bulma said smiling at Vegeta.

"You damn woman, how dare you tell me what to do!" With the cold glare he received from Bulma he went straight to work. 

"The toilet parasites and germs are going to eat into the tissue of my hair, destroying every fiber which is essential, to my becoming famous and walking on the Hollywood walk of fame!"

As Piccolo and Vegeta scrubbed the toilet, Krillin changed the sheets of every single bed and cleaned all the room floors, which meant polishing them. Goku and Gohan had to clean the fridge that included taking all the rotten food out.

Suddenly, in the bathroom, Piccolo got so irritated that he punched the toilet letting all the dirty water explode on them. Both he and Vegeta turned red and ran to the women who were sitting on the porch talking.

Krillin by mistake stepped on some polish that was not dry and would have to start all over again, so he went to complain. Goku and Gohan opened one drawer at the bottom and a terrible odor came out. They covered their noses to keep the stink out and ran to the front of the house. Trunks and Goten, who still hadn't gotten over the caffeine loved the smell. They walked to the fridge to see where it was coming from. 

"Hey! It's coming from these vegetables! I've never seen these kind of vegetables," they started to laugh as they went back to work with the sandwiches. 

Meanwhile, the other men had given up the bet, saying that they were fed up with all the work. They would rather sleep on the couch than go through hell. The women laughed as they all entered together in the kitchen. 

"Yuck! What's that smell!" Marron said covering her nose.

" Would you like to taste our special! It's called the rare veggie peanut butter and jelly sandwich," Goten informed them. 

Before looking inside, as usual, the men just grabbed the food and started eating. Trunks and Goten looked at each other with terrible grins. All the men who ate it turned purple and ran to the toilet to barf.

"Well it seems that our little break might be gone now!" Android said dully.

"Well if you think about it… they'll be too sick to even ask for anything!" Pan said laughing, the others joining in. 

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Well that's how it ends. Hope you enjoyed it, please review! 


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